I didn't have chance to write that I was leaving for Spain. On Friday night the parentals decided we were going to go to the caravan and just drop me off at the airport on the way back home.
Charming that isn't it, I had no chance to say goodbye to anyone.

Well here I am in Spain. I managed to get online but only for a little while (Have you ever noticed when people say that they're on for ages)

Well i'll probably be on for ages now, oh well.

I'm here to visit my dad... well there's a few things I want to talk about before I get into being here in spain (which by the way is humid, absolutly boiling and lacking oxygen)

First of all, when I was walking the dog along the beach at the caravan, imagine my surprise when I climbed over a sanddune and nearly stood on a naked man. Yes, that's right. Naked.

I wasn't amused...

Neither was the naked man.

I had to stop myself from shouting "HE'S NAKED!" but didn't resist the urge to run away as fast as my little legs could take me. The thing is when you see naked sunbathing people, you just can't help but look. They're like road kill or Iggy Pop. You don't actually want to look, but you do anyway.

I didn't actually notice that he was naked at first, I just thought Blimey, those are pink pants. I walked away hoping he got sunburnt. I mean, it was a family holiday beach, not a nudist beach. Kids were running around all over the place, they just don't need that kind of mental scarring.

OK, so back to being here in Spain. I came over with my auntie, my uncle and my two cousins. The flight was delayed (you don't really expect anything less these days) by 20 minutes (which was actually quite good considering it was BMI baby) and I ended up sitting on the floor for ages reading Terry Pratchett and listening to Stevie Nicks, opposite some kids up were drooling and screaming. It was riveting.

The plane flight wasn't much better. I sat next to an old woman who patted my leg everynow and then... I mean... hello? you just don't pat complete strangers laps. I think I reminded her of her grandaughter. Or maybe her dog. You never know.

I ran out of sweets before we even got into the air.

My cousin turned to me at one point during the flight and went "Rahh" complete with suggestive hand movement akin to that which matches Austin Powers' "Oh Behave!"

I turned back to her and put my hands on eitherside of my head, wiggled my fingers and went RAAAHH!

In a completely unsuggestive way. Kate laughed for ages, it wasn't even that funny.

Got off the plane and my bag was the last one on the movey bag giver. As per usual. I was waiting for ages. Then I went out the arrivals area and Mark (that's my dad) was waiting there with Kerry (that's his now pregnant girlfriend)

Oh Joy.

How can I put this.

I really really do not like Kerry. Well, she's 5 months pregant and smokes heavily and drinks too.

She's also going to call the baby Billie-Rae. I pointed out that no matter how you change the spelling the name still sounds like trailor trash.

The poor kid. She's probably going to have some mental disorder (due to the smoking and drinking) and have a crappy name. Her life sucks and she hasn't even been born yet.

So yes, I do have reasons to disliking Kerry. Not just the usual teenage angsty selfish ones. One, everytime I get even anytime with Mark, she cries and locks herself in her room.

I should probably mention she is 23, has a 3 year old daughter already and Mark is 40.

I've dated 25 year olds, it's a bit weird knowing your dads girlfriend is younger then some of your exes.

When I came over here for the funeral she made a huge scene saying she didn't feel like part of the family.

Hello!? it's a funeral, you don't make it all about yourself you stupid cow.

So you're probably asking yourself why I came over in the first place if i'm not getting on very well with Mark (because he let's her have all his attention even though I only see him once a year)

Well I said i'd come over for the simple reason that I thought my little brother and sister would be over too. Which they're not.

So this sucks.

On the plus side I have two and a half weeks to sunbathe, swim, and generally tone up.

I shall look hot by the end of this holiday!

I probably won't get much more chance to post again. So Ciao for now x